I do not know, nor do I understand; in fact, I am not aware of it.

But, at the time of construction of our Naimisharanya Ashram, when excavation was started, it was noticed that on the site on which the present Ashram has been built, there lay hidden, as it were, in the womb of an unknown past, the history of two cultures in two successive layers. It seems that the plot on which this Ashram stands today is the Tirtha Kshetra (place of pilgrimage) of the same (ancient) Naimisharanya, which, as narrated in Srimad Bhagavat, was the scene of activities of Shri Rama and Shri Balarama, and also where Shri Krishna's lila-Charitamrita (delineation of character in the form of a) was revealed through description by Shri Suta.

Again, it was here that, in response to the prayer of Saunak Rishi, Shri Krishna's self-revelation took place in the form of words (Shrimad Bhagavat), in the presence of eighty eight thousand rishis.

Also, in this very Naimisharanya, it was found, in 1960, when our annul function of Sanyama Vrata was held there, that a particular Puran required for recitation and commentary on it (for the assembled devotees), was not available there. This circumstance provided the antecedent for coming into existence of this Ashram site, and the raison d'etre for (construction of) this Ashram. The articles found during excavation at those time-included items of antique earthenware, made with artistic skill, which are not seen in the modern age.

The location of the site of the Ashram upon these two layers of past (cultures) must have a special significance, for, why otherwise, did this particular form of manifestation take place. While it is heard that no image of Puran Purusha has been found installed anywhere, (all the same) he has (now) become self-revealed here in the form of this vigraha.*

Ma says (while pointing towards Her own body),

Again, it occurs in my mind that the same Supreme Ultimate Mahayoga itself must be responsible for bringing into light this place and situation. It is He alone who illumined me within and that has led to this writing.

It was through a shower of grace that I had the privilege of taking the sacred-thread, performing Narayana Puja and getting initiated into Gayatri Purashcharan.

The auspicious occasion for this initiation was the Paush Sankranti i.e., 14th January 1973.

And it was our Ashram at the great Tirtha Kshetra (place of pilgrimage) Naimisharanya on the bank of the sacred river Gomati which was selected as the site for the completion of this ritual through the compassion and blessings of our supremely adored Shree Shree Ma.

For this reason, under the instruction of Ma, two new pukka kutias (brick-built cottages), provided with all kinds of good arrangements too, were built under a tree. Udasji was also a co-performer of this ritual; the second kutia was meant for her.

During the performance of this ritual, there arose in me, at some auspicious moment, a solemn resolve to prepare a written record of th details concerning the holy life of Shree Shree Gurudeva, based on whatever was personally known and heard by me, and give it the shape of a book.

Since very ancient times in the unknown past, this great Tirtha Naimisharanya has continued to be the sustainer of an uninterrupted stream of spirituality. It was this very place where the Ashwamedh Yagna was performed by Shri Ramchandra, where he had met Lava and Kusha, and where the heart-rending tragedy was enacted of Sita's entry into Patal (nether world).

Again, it was here that king Virat and his palace and the five Pandavas had lived incognito.

Also, in this very Tirtha Kshetra, in response to the prayer of rishis, Shrimad Bhagavat, comprising the lila of Shri Krishna, was related for the first time by Shri Suta, eighteen Purans were written by Shri Vyasa, etc.

So, it comes to my mind that this was, indeed, the right place where, in that unbroken flow of spiritual stream, the purifying chronicle of Shree Gurudeva first came to Light in a filiform. That book published in the present form is surely a dressing upon that framework with various colours and (the contents) developed and ornamented by taking advantage of Ma's presence too at various places when such opportunity was available.

I have, certainly, gone through other books, etc., on the subject published before. All these writings reflected each one's own ideas and feelings as they came from his heart. Depending on the condition we are in, this is but natural for us. Whatever few facts were directly witnessed and obtained by people at particular places, these were also collected and incorporated in this writing. Further, through queries and conversation, the little that we could get from Ma - how much of it we could grasp, we do not know-that too has been inserted here. All this was done through an effort extending over some three to four years. Surely, because of the fact that this is an account concerning my Gurudeva Muktananda Giriji Maharaj, we could get from Ma as much as it could be.

Books, etc., published by the Ashram are certainly accepted by all with respect. After a perusal of these publications, many have, indeed, refereed to Ma the queries that arise in their minds, and after getting Her replies, have corrected and do keep on correcting the wrong impressions they have had till then.

From among them, someone, after reading one of such books put a question to Ma about some facts concerning Giriji. On hearing Her reply, he said that he had raised the question as it had cropped up in his mind on perusal of the book. And addressing Ma further, he had remarked that, whether deliberately or through inadvertence, it surely did not appear that accurate and exact reports were there in all places in those writings.

From the (hitherto unpublished) writings concerning Ma, as compiled by the late

Bhaiji, whatever relevant portion was available of the connected accounts covering

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother),

Ma's father Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya,

Ma's mother Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi,

Bholanathji (Ma's husband) and

Ma - these five - has been taken out and embodied here (in this book). It was, perhaps, because this (portion) dealt with the connection between these five that Shriyukta Gurupriya Devi did not hesitate to give a very small portion of it to me. No cause for any harm was involved and I feel, therefore, that nobody could have any ground to say anything against it. We, the travellers aiming at the realization of our Reality, who have met together, for us, it is surely the form of a sacred book, as, in fact, the writing in this book does, indeed, contain the account of the association of these five only.

An incident is mentioned in the first three paragraphs of chapter One,* in which Ma, an infant of 3 months, is in the lap of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. On coming across this incident (in the records received), the mind recalled what had been mentioned earlier, namely, Triveni Sangam (confluence of three rivers), and in this context, all the ideas and language (contents of this book) cropped up, as it were.

It is our good fortune, indeed, that all this has been provided (by Him) the opportunity given too to have knowledge of all this; we take it surely, as the will of the Ichchhamaya (The Lord whose will is final).

Had we not got these (facts) at this time, our writing would have remained confined to the little account concerning Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi only. But now we realize that her form, in association with Ma is, as if, a small portion of all the aspects. Moreover, all the ways and methods of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi, known as Giriji in later years till her last breath, also spontaneously coalesced. That is why, it is with the incident of Ma, a baby in the lap of Her mother, that we begin this book (under the subheading :

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother) too was present at that time in the field of activities of Mokshada Sundari Devi. A little about her has also been included.

if the (details of) priceless dealings, activities, and the like of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi, with which Ma was concerned, were excluded, then I feel that the chronicle would be incomplete, as it wert, and would amount to its mutilation. As for me, in what other way can I produce it as a comprehensive whole? I can only make an endeavour to the best of my capacity.

Regarding the particular expression Triveni Sangam, it was, as if, Bhagavan (Himself) had given a gift of the expression to me-the three contained in (each of) the three itself. Although all do abide in the One, with predominance, indeed, of the One, the manifestation (in each) is of a particular form.

So the aspects of the lives of Mokshada Sundari Devi and Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya have been recorded as they are (in their respective roles). As for Ma, how She is there in all aspects is, indeed, known or understood a little by everyone. Beginning with Her play of behaving like a child, the all in entirety has got an indivisible concurrence too. This indivisible coalescence, whatever it be, is unrestricted. I am only making an endeavour to give a little account of the same, as much as I can.

Humble

Authoress

When Ma was three months old, (Her mother) Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi went (from Kheora) to her paternal home at Sultanpur. After staying there for a few days, she went to her maternal home at Jethagaon in the district of Sylhet (all now in Bangladesh). She thought that as she would be there (at the house of her maternal uncle) only for a short while, it would not matter if this information to her father-in-law's place was not sent beforehand. We had heard that the youngest maternal uncle of Ma's mother never got married and had become a sannyasi after renouncing the world.

After leaving home at Sultanpur, the moment they entered the boat, Ma started suffering from cold and fever. Also, She neither opened Her eyes nor even took any food. Since Mokshada Sundari Devi had come to her maternal home without taking due permission (as required), there was fear that something untoward may happen. For this reason, everyone felt deeply worried.

Whatever treatment was considered necessary was given and medicine administered. Also, every morning and evening, Ma was taken to a Tulsi plant and made to roll on the ground under it (but to no effect). However, when Mokshada Sundari Devi hurriedly left that place for Sultanpur, then on that very day, as soon as they boarded the boat, Ma's eyes opened and cold and fever too vanished suddenly, then and there itself. Everyone was amazed to notice this change and began talking among themselves to the effect that Bhagavan had taught them a lesson because this trip had been taken secretly.

In those days, a special custom prevalent in the villages, in regard to the movement of ladies was that, before going anywhere, they had to take permission from the guardians at their father-in-law's home.

At Kheora, when Ma was so small that She could only sit and crawl, the Muslim girls of the neighbourhood that visited Ma's house used to take delight ill holding Ma in their arms. According to the prevailing custom of that region, the practice was that until rice was put into the mouth (of the child), that is before annaprashan*( * Religious ceremony of putting rice in a child's mouth for the first time.) was performed, touching the child by anyone belonging to a different caste was not considered objectionable. In the villages in those days, an emphasis on 'purity' and a strong feeling that 'pollution' took place through a touch was very much in evidence. For this reason, infant Ma used to be picked up and returned by others after She had been stripped of all clothes and left alone on the ground. When taken back, water was poured on Her body, and some water, with Tulsi leaves added to it, was also sprinkled over Her.

Once a Muslim girl Ekabbar, of the locality, wanted to take Ma from the lap of Thakurma (grandmother). The latter, therefore, left Ma on the ground. The girl, then repeatedly stretched out her arms posing to pick up Ma. However, every time Ma smilingly turned towards her, she immediately withdrew a little. In this manner the girl continued smiling and playing with Ma. After this had gone on for a long time, Ma stopped moving, started crying and continued to do so to such an extent that the girl failed to pacify Ma by taking Her in her lap and even with any amount of fondling. At last, being fatigued and frightened, she set down Ma near Her Thakurma. The latter took up Ma in her lap and handling Her with considerable effort and caresses, stopped Her from crying. Never before this, had Ma, at this age, resorted to crying in such a manner. The pattern of Her crying too had become an unnatural one for a little while.

From then onwards, that girl would never indulge in this kind of fun. She had also told Ma's mother and Thakurma that noticing such unusual crying, she had felt herself landed in such a plight that a recollection of it was continuing to give her a strange sensation out of fear. That sensation ever remained alive in her. That girl had a great love for Ma. Even after her marriage, when she used to visit her paternal home, she would come to meet Ma. Referring to the incident mentioned above, she would remark that she was unable to forget it.

We have heard that Mokshada Sundari Devi had reportedly narrated the following incident to a few persons. At that time she had been staying at Vidyakut along with Ma over a fairly long period. Ma was then about nine to tell months old. One day, after seating Ma somewhere, she was busy doing some work, while, of course, keeping her attention also on Ma. Suddenly, then, there appeared the form of a man a lustrous figure, standing very close to Ma. At that very time, Mokshada Sundari Devi too came there and standing behind Ma, kept on observing.

In the proximity of Ma, within a very short distance, that figure sat down, assuming an asana (a yogi's posture of sitting). Though he wore the garb of a mahatma, his outer garment being almost of jogia (ochre) colour, he had his body covered in a strange manner. The cloth he wore and the way it was worn-in all this, there was something unique - a radiance, as from a glow of light, which cannot be conveyed in words. Whatever limited activity was noticed in him, it displayed his unusual distinctiveness with a luminosity that was beyond description. Meanwhile, Ma, in a semi-crawling movement, using one knee as a seat and placing the other knee and foot ahead on the ground-in the pose, peculiar indeed to a child that can only crawl -went up quickly close to that brilliantly radiant form of the mahainia endowed with shakti.

Then, sitting there, She kept on gazing at him and laughing too at the same time, as if She was intimately familiar with him, being one of Her own. Ma's mode of behaviour at that moment was not at all what is normal for an infant. This was, at that time, something extraordinary for such a small child.

That mahatma, while continuing to look at Ma's entire body, from Her feet to the tip of the hair, and becoming motionless in a sitting picture, appeared to be absorbed in meditation. Indeed, within a few moments, again, what a smile of joy was there! Was it a revelation of a positive gain without gaining as such? And while looking at Ma with a fixed gaze, he kept on smiling. On the part of Ma too, there was an inexplicable gravity and a slight smile as well.

Afterwards, hoJding Ma overhead, and immediately after touching Her limbs, he placed Her feet reverentially on his shoulder, head and other parts of the body. This too was, as if, an extraordinary expression of devotion and veneration, the like of which it is not possible to find in the common world. After this, he seated Ma in his lap with reverence, being imbued all over with a sustained bhava that was at once so strange and wonderful.

Next, be seated Ma again near himself and following some procedure of puja, went through all its details known only to him. Also, some words accompanied with mantra, etc., came out of his mouth, but what they were could not be made out. The manner in which he did the pranam was such as if he had entirely given himself way. His actions-all of them-were completed one after another, within a very short time, inexplicably with lightning speed. Finally, casting a strange glance, accompanied with a stream of light towards Mokshada Sundari Devi and after lifting Ma with both hands and placing Her immediately on the ground, said "This (pointing towards Ma), whom you are seeing before you, this is Ma, and is so not ouly among men and women, but also as permeating and transcending the Visva. You will certainly not be able to keep Her bound in family ties. She will definitely not remain there." Saying this, the mahatma became suddenly invisible there itself. This be-coming invisible should not be understood in the ordinary' sense of the term. What we have been hearing as Svamool, it was in that only. Where did this mahatma appear from and where did he vanish? It was not at all possible that he should be caught within the range of sight of anyone again. He disappeared there only from where he had become manifest. Revealing the identity of Ma before the world for the first time by addressing Her as Ma-who is he? Only He knows through whose Kheyala this kind of manifestation took place.

The incident mentioned above has been incorporated in this writing of mine, as was heard, particularly from the mouth of Gurupriya Didi. As for Mokshada Sundari Devi, all this could not be narrated by her in the presence of Ma. Several years later, once at Dehradun, where she was (called) Giriji (because of her sannyasa), Gurupriya Didi, after getting the account from the mouth of Giriji, had enquired a little from Ma : "Ma, when you were nine or ten months old, it is reported, a mahatma, after appearing (before you) had addressed you as Ma for the first time. Further, he bad said that you would never remain secluded in a home and had perhaps uttered some other words too like these." In those days, who could ever have the courage to open his mouth before Ma on a topic of such a nature. So Didi had stopped immediately after saying this much. A subject like this, then, caused alarm in us, as that led to a strange change in the physical body of Ma.

The above stated incident is the Kheyala, as it were, to allow Herself to be comprehended. Appearing Herself in the form of a yogi from Herself, it was She who in the context of kriya by that yogi revealed Herself in the different Svarupas pertaining to different lines of sadhana. The states which reveal the Svarupa of dhyana, the perfect form of Bhakti Shradha (devotion and reverence), complete atmasamarpana (self-surrender), - all these, in fact, were unfolded by the courses of kriya by that yogi. It was the state of a yogi which unfolded such form of dhyana, puja, mantra, etc., that led to the revelation of Ma's Svarupa-this is Mother, pertaining to Visva, transcending Visva as well.

The above statement is in respect of that place from where this revelation took place. What can be spoken of as beyond a woman and man, it is in that child only - Himself, He, the Indivisible perfect - THAT alone.

In the form of Her Kriya, She, in this form, in the revelation of a yogi, in Her own Kheyala, the way in which She allowed Herself to be comprehended was Ma's play in Svakriya for the first time.

An incident on another day was as follows;

Ma's Thakurma had an aunt* *(This was the same aunt about whom a mention is made later under the sub-heading 'Is Ma an insignificant child? An aspect of warning in Ma's play.) whose eldest son was Krishnasundar Bhattacharya. He was thus of the status of a grandfather for Ma. Once he lifted Ma with love and placed Her on his shoulder in a jovial playful mood, just as, by way of dressing, a child is made to sit on one's shoulder. Thereafter, be took Ma in his hands and, for quite some time, tried to make Her laugh and dance by moving Her up and down on his palms before throwing up and catching Her back. And, finally, through further fondling, he made Her stand on his shoulder. Ma too was probably laughing heartily (as is normal for a child).

Now the child placed Her one foot on the head of the grand-father, and the other foot She perhaps wanted to put on his arm raised above. All of a sudden, the grandfather started shouting: "Catch hold of! Catch hold of! Falling down! Falling down!", and sat down at once on the ground. Panting hard, he exclaimed: "O Lord, what a girl!"

Saying this, he left Ma near Her mother with a feeling of relief, as it were. In the process of sitting down on the ground, it was not clear whether he had said, 'It is falling, it is falling' or 'I am falling, I am falling'. As to whether it was emotion or fear or weight that had led him to this state is known only to Him who is concerned here.

This grandfather perhaps never indulged in this kind of fun with Ma during the rest of his life. All the same, he continued to have this feeling of affection for Ma fresh in his memory. He really used to look upon Ma with great love. This is the version of those who had reared Ma with tender care.

Is She in tile Bhava of Radha's Viraka (Separation) from Krishna?

Once, with Ma in her arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi had gone to hear songs at a kavigan? (a kind of song tournament). Ma was, then, about two-and-a-half or three years old, and talked lispingly. The following stanza was also (heard) there in that kavigan:

(Radha had) gone and appeared at the

Royal court of Shri Krishna,

Alas, like one who is mad

Courting for love only, in pangs, indeed,

Like one who is mad!

After hearing the song and returning home, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi left Ma in the courtyard.

Sitting, absorbed in Herself under a thicket of banana trees, Ma started singing the same stanza lispingly. As She continued Her singing, the flow of tears kept on drenching Her. What did the child understand which caused such a flow? That kavigan was, indeed, so touching that many could not resist shedding tears. As for Ma, She was also present there at that time, and was it due to an identity with their bhava that it happened as it did or within Herself alone, it was She Herself in the form of the flow of tears too.

Noticing all this, that grandfather of Ma, Shriyukt Krishnasundar tried to make Ma laugh through fondling Her. Ma, then, burst into laughter and continued laughing heartily, but with some bashfulness too, as it were. The narration mentioned above was heard from the mouth of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi herself.

Once, when Ma was a tiny girl, Her mother asked Her: "Go to the tank-ghat, wash your face and come back." Sitting on the ghat, Ma fixed Her gaze at water with one-pointed attention, without caring to put Her hand in it. Looking at Her own reflection Herself in water, She kept on playing by making gestures with Her bands and feet, and through facial distortion. She, then, began pointing out something with Her finger and muttering something too, both of which were unintelligible. Was it with Her reflection that She was having this conversation, gesticulation, laughter and all the rest through movement of hand and finger?

Again, on Her own, She exclaimed: "There is the sky, look, look!" In this way, it went on for quite some time. Meanwhile, that grandfather, Krishnasundar, standing at a little distance behind Ma, kept on listening and watching all this. Perhaps he had felt concerned with the thought that She, a small girl, had gone in front of him to the ghat empty handed, and it was quite late too. So he had come to the ghat to find out what the matter was, and noticing Ma like' that, had perhaps led him to remain standing there so long. Later, he exclaimed: "What are you doing sitting there? Couldn't you finish washing your face yet?"

Ma replied: "Oh look, look, there is the sky!"

After saying this, She washed Her face and returned.

Yes, She had come to wash Her face, but became absorbed with Herself in Herself. We all, that are here, surely belong to Her alone. It is She who is playing with Herself. Isn't that so?

We have heard that very soon after Ma's advent in our midst, as we see it, the aunt of Ma's Thakurma (the mother of Krishnasundar, mentioned earlier) had remained alone in that room (the lying-in chamber). Ma used to call this aunt Bada Ma (senior mother). She had a few cows that yielded a good quantity of milk which was churned daily to get buttermilk (after converting the milk into dahi i.e. (yoghurt).

When Ma was a small child, that is, during the days when She went about without clothes, She used to visit her (Bada Ma's) house early in the morning, while holding a vessel pressed over Her belly. Her house too was contiguous to that of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father). When buttermilk would become available (after necessary churning for butter), she would call Ma first and give Her a little butter and some buttermilk. She loved Ma very much. At that time Ma was very healthy with a stout physique and some people jokingly called Her a chalkumra (a kind of pumpkin).

One day Ma, holding (as usual) the vessel on Her belly and moving it to and fro, had gone leisurely for buttermilk. However, the moment Bada Ma saw Her, she exclaimed: "Just now I have started making buttermilk and here She has already arrived in advance to get it. You take buttermilk daily; now, it won't be given to you anymore, go away." She had spoken this in an annoyed vein. Just then she noticed that her churning pot had developed a hole and the yoghurt in the pot had started leaking away.

(On this) she exclaimed with surprise:

'What is this development now!' No buttermilk could be had that day. She, then, called Ma and gave Her something quickly out of the remnants in the pot.

Ever since this incident took place, even if Ma was late in coming. Bada Ma would call Her and give buttermilk. Some among the descendants of Bada Ma are still living today.

They cherish great reverence for Ma.

One night there was kirtan in the neighbouring house.

Taking Ma in arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi went there and seating Ma in one place, told Her: "There is kirtan, see and listen." Ma had once said that whatever the parents asked Her to do, She carried cut the same, as much as it was in Her Kheyala. Verily, even at such a small age, that day, perhaps in obedience to the bidding of Her mother, Ma was looking at the kirtan being performed and listening too, but now and then Her body appeared to be drooping in a peculiar way, lacking balance.

The mother had asked Her to listen to the kirtan; the rise of bhava that occurs when kirtan is heard in the real sense-perhaps it was this which was taking place. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi noticed that Ma was drooping.

So she repeatedly made Ma sit up by shaking Her again and again, while remonstrating: "All the boys and girls are remaining seated, only this one is in such a state! There is such loud singing and so much sound being produced due to playing on khol (tom-tom) and cymbals, but how this one is in this peculiar way indeed!"

Here, in fact, however, Ma's body remained lacking steadiness, may be in a state in identity with the sound of the Name, etc., pertaining to kirtan. After kirtan was over, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi returned home and made Ma lie down on the bed. Next day in the morning, when she tried to awaken Ma by calling Her, the latter still appeared in a somewhat drowsy state. She had certainly not sat up till late at night; what, then, had caused such a state, she wondered. Quite a long time elapsed in the same condition. As this was not due to keeping awake at night, she concluded that it was due to some other cause.

In village Kheora, on New Year's Day or some other special days, or when there was any outbreak of an epidemic, the villagers used to collect in the morning and evening, and move out in nagar-kirtan (kirtan in a procession along the streets of a town). In Her very child-hood, Ma would, at the sight of or on listening to such kirtan, have an ecstatic urge to run up to such a procession and move along with it.

With great joy and exultation, She would entreat Her mother "Mother, I just go, may I ?" So saying, She would want to run away, as it were. She would then go up to the kirtan party and be back to Her mother the next moment running hither and thither, as if in a peculiar state of restlessness. Noticing such abnormalities in Ma occasionally, Her mother would remark : "This girl, of what sort is She?" Of course, she would not allow Ma to go. From Her very childhood, She was forbidden to move out with boys to any place. Even after the kirtan party would leave, it was noticed that for quite sonic time Ma would remain silent, grave and very calm.

At that time it was also customary in every village in East Bengal (now Bangladesh), that in the twilight of early morning, the Vaishnavas, playing on tun tuni (a kind of small cymbal) and tambourine, would sing the name of the Lord at the doors of householders. They used to sing the following type of songs:

Wake up!

Oh residents of Vrindaban,

Saying glory to Radha,

Shri Radha,

It is already dawn.

Rising up graceful Radha

Looks towards the road,

Which way has gone

My Shyam Sundar Rai?

Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

Rama is awake, Sita is awake

And awake is Lakshman,

Dasarath, Kaushalya are awake,

Also Bharat, Shatrughna,

Wake up, Oh residents of Vtindaban!

Ganesh is awake, Kartik is awake,

And Lakshmi, Saraswati.

In Kailash, Shankar is awake,

And awake is Parvati,

Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

On those days, when at dawn they used to sing various bhajans, kirtan and songs at the doors of particular householders, they visited again those houses later in the morning on the same day, and singing beautiful songs about Balarama, Radha-Krishna, Goshtha Giti (songs connected with the pastoral sports of Krishna), songs related to Mahaprabhu, Mahamantra and various other such songs, collected alms from them. Thus it gave an opportunity to the villagers also to hear the name of the Lord and provided an aid as well to those Vaishnavas in earning their livelihood.

On such occasions, Ma would be disinclined, as it were, to withdraw from that place. She would appear abnormal. In fact, it was difficult to make Her even shift from there. While listening to those songs, Ma's features too would appear as if somewhat different, in full divine fervour.

In the village, it was a prevalent custom that the ladies would assemble and sing together on occasions of worship of various gods and goddesses, during an investiture of the sacred thread, a marriage ceremony, etc. Those songs could be about Krishna or Rama, Sita or Durga-Kali, Kartik, Ganesh, Lakshmi, etc. Whatever the song was, on the occasion of worship of a particular god or goddess, Ma would surely be in that same mode, and it was not easy to make Her move from there. All the same, remaining obedient, through Her own Kheyala, the carrying out of the orders of Her mother was positively there.

The Form of Kriya of Ma.

Once, during Ma's childhood, two European ladies, while engaged in door-to-door preaching of Christianity, some also to the house of Ma's maternal uncle at Sultanpur. Deeply engrossed, Ma (who was then there) kept following them as well. Through songs and discourses, they explained to all, the doctrines of Christian faith. Entreating Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi---f course, Ma was not concerned with this or that religion, it was talk about Bhagavan alone that counted with Her - Ma said: "Mother, may I buy a copy of the book on their religion, priced one pice only? On this, she purchased the book and gave it to Ma.

She certainly could not properly read too; perhaps She managed to read one or two words and after that who cared to read further! How far it was intelligible to the little girl is known only to Ma, but She did remain absorbed in it.

They had pitched their tent outside the village.

What happened to Ma!

On that very day in the evening, She went over to their tent running. We do not know for what purpose She had gone (there) at that hour, which, indeed, was their prayer time. Going quickly, Ma had returned quickly too. Perhaps they could not even notice Ma. Meanwhile it was getting a little dark when She returned home. That day nobody took Ma to any task too, although it was a standing rule that everyone without exception should positively be present in one's house before dusk. On Her part, Ma too did not tell anything about this matter to anyone.

In this context, it was heard from Ma's mouth at some later period that the camp of the missionaries lay on the out-skirts of the village in a field quite far off, on the bank of a canal and a lake, where it was impossible to go and come back within such a short time. (About) the pattern of Ma's movement, did Her feet touch the ground or not?

She possibly moved flying, as it were. What type of movement it was, Ma only knows. On Her way, there lay grass and thorns, but such was the pattern of movement that even on touching them, they touched Her not-a strange sort of wavy movement in the air. On the basis of the narration as heard, we asked Ma, 'What was the significance of this movement?"

Ma: " There they made prayer, the same prayer was also in the form of this kriya.

Whenever it happens to be in Her kheyaIa to do something, then no obstacle arises in the performance of such action and She sees to it that it is positively done. At that time, in the dusky twilight, this very small girl returned home, running on a route through a rural jungle and nobody could get a scent of it, as it were, nor did anyone even ask Her anything. Here were strange newly-arrived European ladies, and in going after them at dusk, She could have taken fright as well, so natural for a child, but nothing of that sort happened.

They had come (dealing) with religious objects and that is what concerned Ma.

They too were like constant friends, dear members of the family. Where was then (the question of) obedience! When it was in Her specific Kheyala, did the binding of obedience hold good in this case? At other times, again, such binding was there, but where can there be a binding which is free of binding * is it not clear?

At that time in the villages, there was no sign of any practice of holding devotional group meetings or having discourses or talks by Mahatmas and the like. Occasionally, there was held a Harisabha (assembly for talk on Hari), performance of kirtan, etc., or reading from the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Padma Puran and the like. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, of course, did ardently do bhajan, kirtan, etc., with the name of Hari during the last part of every night.

When Ma was five years old, one day after dusk, sitting by Her father and hearing him singing, She enquired: "Father, please listen (and tell me), this Hari whose name you sing, who is this Hari? In reply, he said "Hari is the name of Shri Bhagavan."

Ma: All right, what happens by taking His name?

B. B. Mahasaya: He appears when invoked.

Ma : What does He do after appearing?

B. B. Mahasaya: If I am in need of you and then call you, you turn up; in the same way, He too makes His appearance. When one invokes Him and submits to Him any desire one has with a sincere heart, He fulfils it. Just as, when we call you and say, 'See, you get this work done for me,' you do the same; exactly, in the same manner, whoever asks Him for anything, He grants it. As soon as He is invoked, Be will appear without fail. He performs so many other like acts.

Ma: Will He appear just on calling, 'Hari, Hari?

B.B. Mahasaya: Yes.

Ma: How big is He?

B.B. Mahasaya: Very big.

Ma : There is the field, will He be contained in it?

B. B. Mahasaya : No, He makes His appearance when called as Hari, Hari. You will then see how big He is, who He is and how beautiful!

A clue by indication provided by father in his own way for the revelation of THAT- this is what we may conclude positively.

From the conversation between father and daughter recorded above, does it not occur in our mind that, in reply, Ma got spoken from the mouth of Her father that Tattwa, which is beyond speech and mind.

Because of the fact that the Mahapurna (super-full), Akhanda (Undivided Whole) Itself will Himself play with Himself, so here is the vastness of all forms, no form Itself, where beyond and not beyond does not come within the domain of talk certainly, this is what we should accept here. Through plain and simple words from the mouth of the form of a five year old child, what an extra-ordinary and serious question it was and the reply from the father too-this aspect also has been granted to us.

In order to initiate the play of sadhana with Herself in Her own Kheyala in future, here is Ma in an environment created by Herself only.

The child-Mother asked Her father : Who is Hari? Father replies: You do His Nam, you will know only when He appears.

This word about Hari that Ma got out of father's mouth, this, in fact, was the basis of Ma's play of sadhana in future. What was made to be spoken through the mouth of father, this too is in the context of Ma's Svakriya. That is She Herself was the question and She Herself the answer.

In succeeding volumes we shall observe how splendid and of what a vast form this play of sadhana was, and in connection with this play, an indication of Ma's own Svarupa was unfold in the form of each kriya, state and completion of sadhana. This is Ma's play of Svamool, where exist mools of all sadhanas. Abadh is that play of Ma with any mool at any time.

During Ma's childhood, one night at Kheora, there was a storm, due to which the house shook, the thatching blew away and everyone became frightened. But Ma started clapping Her hands exultantly while shouting: "The chan (a kind of hay in the thatching) has blown away, the chan of the thatching has blown away!" The next day in the evening, when it grew dark, Ma began jumping and clapping with bubbling laughter. After pointing to the opening in the roof and' addressing Her mother, She exclaimed, as if with Her entire body:

The stars can be seen while sitting in the room itself! There is no need to go out-in and out are one and the same!"

(On this) Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi remarked: "Whatever you are, your words too are exactly like that-just like the joy of a lunatic on the killing of a cow." Afterwards, it so happened that both the roofs of the house on both sides rolled down to the ground. That which is to blow away, that which is to fall, melt or burn away, will end up exactly in that way- --where this is so, in the angle of vision. But where there is no question of drishti-srishti, there it is the One, THAT only-the Self. This is what we have been hearing. Was it a hint towards that only -only the One alone-which was conveyed by the clapping of hands?

Noticing Ma's occasional simple and listless mood, everyone, indeed, took Her to be an insipid simpleton. Some of them called Her insensitive and wondered if this one had not inherited a little of the simple nature too of Her Thakurma.

They thought that if all this were not overcome, then God knows what may, befall Her after marriage.

In connection with the play too in child-like exultation' in Ananda, and in this kriya also there is a display of indication pertaining to the truth of oneness. In and out are just one-in the example 'of identification of ghatakash (the 'void in a pot) with Mahakash (the great void)- implying identification of jiva-atma and Paramatma, there was that exultation in Ananda of Ma.

Where there is perception-creation, that is; ephemeral view sustained by creation, sustenance and dissolution, there itself is transitory kriya, such as construction and destruction. Implying this fact, Ma is saying: what has to away, fall down, what has to be burnt away, melt-away,' that does happen in the context of appropriate place.

In Svarupa, there is no such question-the One THAT alone.

This is what has to be realized by jiva, his own self revealing in the Self.

This is the significance of Ma's clapping of hands, being elated with joy.

During cold and hot weather, in sun and rain, Ma could hardly be over powered (by weather conditions). It was seldom that She was taken ill. She would play with great joy running about in the rain. Shriyukta Mokshada' Sundari Devi would remark,

Observing the various sorts of strange modes' of Ma on many an occasion, both father and mother, despite the manifold troubles and tribulations that are generally there from the worldly point of view, surely had, all the same, their little smile of joy undiminished.

Everyone whosoever, without any distinction of caste and class, who happened to look at Ma, could not as if resist fondling Her the moment there was a suitable opportunity to do so. In fact, Ma would attract the attention of many indeed!

Vigraha - Lila and Tattwa.

At the age of seven or eight, and in the company of Bada Ma, Ma once visited Shiva Badi (temple of Shiva at Chandla). For a while Bada Ma kept Ma seated under a banyan tree. The hair from the first shaving of the heads of children, vowed as an offering to the deity, used to be left under that tree by people coming from different villages. For this reason, a heap had formed of such accumulated hair.

While sitting there, one Thakurghar came into Ma's view, but there was no Vigraha in it. All the same, there was a tank nearby, and as soon as Ma turned Her eyes towards the tank, She noticed a Shivalinga of stone diving at one time, floating at the next, then jumping out while surging up from water and diving again.

Also, very near Ma, Shiva Durga vigraha, moulded out of moon as it were, flashed for a moment in that form only.

Ma said,

All the same, after sometime when Ma went to the Thakurghar, She saw the Shivalinga again also there. On returning home, in course of a talk, when Ma narrated some facts of what had come to Her view, others remarked that they had always seen the Shivalinga in the Thakurghar only.

It was heard-such was the traditional report--that this Shivalinga did not always stay in the Thakurghar, but roamed about in the tank and jungles. When people went down in the tank for taking a bath, that Shivalinga would mount on the palm of someone, but immediately again would roll away and dive into the water.

This particular rolling away did come into one's view.

Again, when sometimes, someones eagerly tried to touch it, then, at that time, he would possibly fail to find it. It would disappear in water. At some other time, again, it would be seen seated in the room and puja being offered. That room, the flooring of which was of earth, and the roof and walls of corrugated tinned iron sheets, always had an opening in one corner.

Ma and Mango Tree - Giving and Taking.

It was a usage in villages that at Vaisakhi Puja (worship performed in the Indian month of Vaishakh i.e., April-May), everyone offered ripe mangoes of the season, first to the family deity. One day Ma enquired of Her mother,

"Mother, Vaisakhi Puja is taking place and you too are performing it, but you have offered an unripe mango in the puja. Where is the ripe one for us?"

She replied "Have we got a mango garden, where, in one tree or the other, at least one full or half-ripe mango could surely be available? So we shall perform puja by offering an unripe mango. There is no need for a ripe mango for us. One performs puja with what one has and according to one's capacity."

Outside, there were some mango trees in the gardens of other people. But Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's instructions were that fruits were never to be brought (home) after plucking them from these trees; they could, however, be picked up if they were found lying on the ground under them. This was not prohibited according to an established practice in the villages. The instruction too was scrupulously observed by Ma. Lest a branch of a tree bent down when laden with fruits, might come into contact with Ma's body and the fruit may be touched, Ma would maintain a distance from such branches while proceeding on foot. Obeying an instruction meant obeying it fully.

While going to the ghat of the tank, Ma had noticed earlier that very high up in a tree, one mango had ripened and turned red. It came to Ma's Kheyala that if it had dropped, it could be offered in puja. And, indeed, Ma had the habit of conversing with trees. We do not know how things happened and in what way, but when Ma went to the foot of that three that day at that time, She found the same mango lying on the ground. When carried and given to Her other, the latter questioned: "You have not brought it after plucking jt, have you ?" On being told as to how it was got, she smiled a little at the words of the small girl and offered the mango in puja.

Ma told Her mother: "As you give me, so also does the tree; the tree too gives in the same way as you do, is it not so mother? Surely, it can also give like you, no matter even if it remains. standing at on place."

On this, laughing in her sleeves a little, she commented: "Is the tree a friend of yours that it will give you? Look at this girl talking like a pundit. Of course, paternal and maternal families ate of pundits; how can She escape the family cultural heritage?"

That Ma speaks only the truth, was undoubtedly in the knowledge of Mokshada Sundari Devi. In matters relating to religion, (as during) a vrata (religious observance), puja, kirtan, and when there ere vrala kathas (stories narrating glories pertaining to the deity at he end of a vrata) or reading of religious books, an expression of cheerful enthusiasm and ananda would be noticed much in the physical body of Ma.

On a later occasion, after a considerable lapse of time, when once Ma bad been to Kishenpore* two mangoes were brought from (a tree in) Kalyanvan* and shown to Her.

On seeing (them), Ma had remarked:

"These two mangoes too have almost the same colour and similar pattern (as that of the mango mentioned above). One of them had such a distinctive mark that it could be picked out even when mixed in a heap of mangoes. We took a photo of the same. Both the mangoes were carefully stored on the first floor. After that none of them could be traced. However, after a considerable search, some one informed that he had noticed one of the mangoes on the ground floor. That mango was brought, cut into slices and distributed, a piece each, as prasad. It was proposed to preserve its stone. But, afterwards, that stone too could not be traced at all. About the other one, who took it away or ate it tip or what actually happened to it, none could say.

After three or four years, while looking for this particular mango tree at Kalyanvan, it was observed that perhaps gornata (cow looked upon as mother, go : cow, mata : mother) used to be tied to it. After giving shade for sometime, it met with what was destined for it-only the roots were seen as a mark of its remnants.

Poverty as Yibhuti (Glory):

in Abhava (want),

Svabhava (Normal condition) in All Bhavas, the Same ever in Ananda and Exultation.

In the small village of Kheora, most of the villagers were not used to buying vegetables, as a regular practice, from the bazaar. (They depended on) whatever could be grown within their premises; in fact, they did manage to produce some vegetables in their residential lands. But the land of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya around his house was so barren, and mostly sandy, that there could hardly be any possibility of producing vegetables and the like too that were worthwhile. it was this sand where Ma used to play with great delight. She would thrust Her fingers in the sand and heap it up in one place.

The sand was of fine texture, shining white, and Ma would tell cheerfully, and in exultation to the neighbours that the kind of shining white sand which was there was not available in the land belonging to any other house. As if with sense of pride, She would remark: "Look, how granular the sand is; it does not soil the hand too."

At the end of play, She would shake off the sand by clapping Her bands, and go home jumping and leaping.

While we were reading this narration, Gurupriya Didi too was present.

In a lighter vein, she had, the, remarked: "Ma, we can see that while, you were with your parents, your great grace was, indeed, there, in their way of earning livelihood!"

In reply, Ma too said with a smile: "Why, at home curries were prepared out of bharali (inside stem of a' plantain tree) and thor (plantain flower). Fried neem leaves were there, and also a preparation of neem leaves and pieces of brinjal fried together. Leaves of coriander of foreign and Indian variety, reduced to a wet pulp and taken with rice, and items of like nature all these were prepared sometimes.

Surely, we had taken plenty of such items cooked by mother.

Moreover, among fruits, we had kavrikela, avrikela, bichakela, chinichampakela (all varieties of plantain: kela means plantain) and pineapple too, in small number; although now and then, they were left, as prasad (that is partially eaten) by porcupine friends And clinging to a mango tree, there was a big guava tree which bore a variety of small guava. A few mango trees were also there.

Again, there as a very big jackfruit tree, but it never bore any fruit. After I had joined the family of Bholanath, it had perhaps produced fruits once." We all, then, laughed again and said that in that case, in-. deed, there was no limit to, the bestowal of grace.

Ma: Why, all these fruits, etc., too were now and then offered to the deity and taken as prasad as well.

We have heard, further, that such spices as ginger, green turmeric, coriander seed, aniseed, randhuni (a variety of parsley) etc., were produced at home and sometimes used in preparing bhoga for the deity.

Uluchan (a variety of fine grass) for thatching the dwelling house grew there itself. The rustling caused by the swaying of bamboo (growing around the house) resonated through the house. Plants producing a kind of cane grew in the environs of the house, and their top ends were eaten after being boiled with rice, etc.

Although these cane plants were full of thorns, the latter were cut clean and after eliminating the tender pulp, were used for fastening en enclosures serving as walls o the house and tying the thatched roof and making it secure. Such enclosures and doors were made exclusively of bamboos, and self-woven coarse mats, also of bamboo only, were sometimes made use of. The flute too, secure in the hands of Sri Krishna, while touching his lips, is made of a particular variety of bamboo, and this variety was also here. Various other articles too were made of this quality of bamboo. Even the dish used when eating parched paddy, fried rice, flattened rice, etc., was only one particular variety among various such patterns of containers made of this bamboo'.

The artkle pertaining to this created world too, bearing the greatness of various aspects pertaining to the Supreme Objective were collected and during this time, while remaining in the environment of such articles that had been prepared at home in a spirit of reverence for use, there was this girl in the form of kriya.

A portrayal of utter poverty is the background of the environment in which Ma is seen in Her childhood. She resides in a small simple house, the food comprises simple pot-herbs, vegetables, little fruits, etc. mostly grown in the residential land itself.

In the construction of Her dwelling place, bamboo, uluchan, cane, etc., all available from their own land were used. Mats in use at home were also woven from strips of these bamboos which included also the special variety from which flutes could be made, bringing into memory the flute in the hand of Shri Krishna.

A number of different vessels for taking breakfast were also made out of these bamboo strips.

In Ma's words: "Food stuff grown at home materials made at home itself - all such articles of this created world have the greatness related to aspects and ways pertaining to the Supreme Objective. That is, in the journey leading to the revelation of Svarupa, the traveller must abide by particular disciplines in respect of his food, materials used, etc., as all this helps to awaken pure bhava. It is essential that there should not be the least indulgence in respect of objects of sensual pleasure, as such abstinence is an aid to free oneself from worldly desires, thereby opening a natural way towards the goal. These materials, as referred to here, having innate potentiality to awaken satvick bhava in the environment sustained by purity and truth had been available there in the normal course.

Thus, in the environment of materials created by itself and offered with reverence for use, was this child Ma in the form of Her kriyas.

It was through Ma's Kheyala only that this environment manifested and in respect of all kriyas of M here, is She only in the form of those kriyas, depicting by itself the way of living that makes natural unfoldment of spiritual stages which culminate in the realization of the Self revealing as everything in the forms of kriyas of sadhana, etc.

The ancestral homestead of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya was at Vidyakut, and Holi, Durga Puja festival, and also a succession of other festivals used to be held there all the twelve months of the year. Thy had agricultural and untenanted land too.

Well off Brahmin sisya and sisyas of other castes holding high positions were there. No doubt, we have heard about all this. But the joy in picking pot-herb in the company of Thakurma, seeing stars while sitting in the room itself after the thatching had blown away, making the house and the outside indistinguishably one, there was joy in all this too; and, then, to roam about, in great Ananda, putting on torn clothes, the dress reflecting utter destitution-in want, in normal state, in fact, in all states the same oneness, was ever there. Was it because such facts as these could be brought to light, that you created this state of penury in the environment of Kheora? All this, indeed, is but your play and perhaps just to have such a pastime in sustained joy and exultation under all conditions, that this particular type of environment was created at that time.

From all this, indeed, it occurs in my mind that the entire surroundings here are of a rshi-Ashram, and again, to look upon these as verily the Lila-Khela (divine play) created through volition of Bhagavan, where many forms are of the One, and those many abide in the One only. At the same time that One is in all, pervading all, which, undoubtedly, we have been hearing all along.

Here is child Ma in the environment of extreme poverty.

However, in whatever circumstances She might bin a broken dwelling place, wearing torn soiled clothes, with simple food - identifying Herself with any condition, She is, under all conditions, ever in Ananda, elated with joy.

While investigating the reason for this, one way of looking at it is the tradition of rishi ashram. Besides, the diverse forms pertain to the One only, many abiding in the One alone. That is, whatever may be the condition, Ma is, indeed, ever in that one form. Therefore, the external forms of that Svarupa-Ananda are diverse kriyas and dealings. Adversity and favourableness, due to circumstances, are Her own external expressions-it is She indeed. Here misery and want, due to any extraneous influence - this question does not arise.

Various forms of divisions and distinctiveness are, with the touch of the One, unfoldments in the form of modes of play of the One. So long as this truth remains un-revealed, till then persist the worldly concerns, attachments, aversions, conflicts, leading to the dukha (misery) of coming and going (birth and death).

It is Bhagavan who is both joy and misery, in all forms and form-less as well.

That we may remain devoted, aiming at this in our journey-is it not this end that those plays of Ma are meant for?

Ma says: "In samsar (world), where considering sam (change) as sar (permanent), that is, unreal for the real,

That is why in all conditions, there is an unswerving cheerfulness itself in Ma. This is what has to be unfolded to us in the context of the environment of penury pertaining to Ma.

One day Ma was making, at one place, a circular heap of sand by digging and turning it up with Her hands. Her mother (came up) and enquired: "You have been in the sand so long, exposed to the sun, and are perspiring with a red face. There is sand all over your body and head. What is it that you are making with the sand?"

Ma replied: "There is the Salagram Thakur in the Thakurghar, spherical in shape and present in it are Krishna Thakur, Radha Govinda, Rama Narayana and all such Thakurs so you were telling, were you not mother?

Now, in this heap of sand too, are present all those Thakurs in the Thakurghar, and there are in it (the heap of sand) still more Thakurs, innumerable as they 'are."

The girl conveyed, through the tone of these words, we do not know what all ideas in a strange manner, while looking at Her mother's eyes and keeping on smiling, waving to and fro, with Her one band resting on the ground and the other raised above, twisting Her body as She remained seated, revolving the raised hand and moving Her head and mouth.

It was, as if, in this very small heap of sand nothing whatever was excluded that is what, we think, She was making (Her mother) understand.

Within Visva Brahmanda and beyond

whatever exists at any place or does not exist, Thakur, Devata, etc., in fact,

all that is manifest, unmanifest as well (are in this small heap of sand) - and, indeed, was not this that was hinted at through these words (of Ma).

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi perhaps remaining thoughtful over what was conveyed by those words, quickly went to the kitchen and calling Ma from there bade Her: "Do not remain anymore in the sun, come inside the house."

When Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi gave this instruction, she observed, while peeping, that Ma, looking this way and that and laughing heartily on Her own, had got Herself nicely seated on that heap (of sand) as a cushion.

In Her play with flowers, etc., how many diverse patterns were there (in the play) even with flowers. Sometimes Ma would take a flower in Her hand, and as She would stretch Her hand above Her head as far as She could, She would keep on observing it all the time. And then She would touch Her cheeks, mouth, nose, forehead and head (with the flower). Making a braid of nandadulat flowers, She would give it the round shape of a bangle. Putting it, may be on the nose sometimes, round the ear at another time or just on the head, She would dance a while.

Mokshada Sundari Devi had taught Ma the technique of making a wreath by inter-weaving nandadulal flowers. From then onwards, Ma began making such plaits and playing with them. Again, as if muttering, what a long talk She would have with flowers while making signs with hands, nodding and moving mouth and eyes. Afterwards, collecting all the flowers in Her hands and throwing them all up, She would walk away in a serious mood.

After so much fondling, in such intimacy, of the bunch of flowers, there would be, as if, no connection at all (with them)! Sometimes someone would happen to see all this too. When aware of it, Ma would burst into loud laughter.

Even while standing, or sitting as well, once the play was over, Ma would, after tearing and casting away everything, and abandoning it all, turn a quiet girl and make Her way homeward. What is novel in all such stories? Now too we see that when Ma continues to stay in a particular place, it takes on the appearance of a thoroughly delightful festive congregation. We become full of expectation that perhaps the rest of our life will pass in this very manner. But, in a trice, the festive congregation vanishes, and then no one belongs to anyone.

Her Steadiness, Dancing as well

There were still several other kinds of play of Ma.

(For instance), with the heel as centre and the middle part of the foot raised and curved inwards, She would, by turning round, draw at a stretch a uniform and unbroken circular line with Her big toe. After joining the ends of the circular line through that single turning itself, She would stand still there. Then, revolving round and round, She would keep on dancing. Again, sometime, stretching out both Her arms, She would continue whirling round in the same style; also, leaning as well, once on the right, and then on the left. At that time if Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi happened to notice this, she would warn, exclaiming: "Hey, you will fall down, don't do all such things!" Ma would, then, stop moving, and clapping with raised hands, would run to Her mother leaping and jumping. Whatever Her bidding, Ma would carry it out to the letter; this, too, was noticed in Ma.

While drawing the circular line, the other foot of Ma remained (aloof) in the air only and did not touch the ground. Observing all these different ways (of Ma), sometimes there was an expression of fear too in Mokshada Sundari Devi. At that time, she would say: "Don't know what all this girl does; of what kind She is-like a - silly simpleton too; Bhagavan will look after Her in His own way!"

Neighbours, too, there were hardly in any considerable number. On rare occasions, some girls of Ma's age-group, from the Eastern or any other quarter, came and took part in the play of drawing the circular line. Among them, perhaps one could complete half of it, some possibly a part, while others attempted to draw the same walking slowly with the help of the other foot. Sometimes the ends did not join well at all. Someone perhaps even sat down after standing. All fins failed to get that unbroken circle through a single rotation. In the play of children, such was he distinctive feature even when Ma was playing in the sand.

Ma, though a small child, was, in fact, even in that play, not at all with anyone, though remaining in the midst of all, like white sand which is shaken off and thrown away. (Of) the unbroken circle, was She not Herself, indeed, that Akhand Bindu* itself at its centre?

She Herself was the drawing,

Herself, again, in the stationary state,

and Herself in the state of dancing as well.

That is, whatever it is, it is She with Herself,

revealing only Herself in Herself, even in all such physical postures in the play.

In fact, this is what is being conveyed at all times.

Indeed, Ma would sometimes say:

So, even in this play too, She was in that undifferentiated wholeness of Her own-this, indeed, is what coins to our mind. A childlike play, as we see it, it is the same which She is playing, but in the pattern of Her own undifferentiated wholeness. Till today, whatever is taking place anywhere, indeed in all, there is the same pattern of Hers - She Herself, so we think.

Ma, or course, always says when you got this body first, what it was then, the same, indeed, it is now also Here is that One Tattwa, where there is no question of a second. In such a case, what is the Svarupa of kriyas pertaining to plays, etc., and dealings?

Movements, rising, sitting, jumping, running - diverse kriyas, diverse bhavas and diverse movements of the body, and yet the person remains that same one. This is a gross analogy to comprehend Ma in the mind also as much as it is possible-the pattern is Hers only, the steadiness is Hers alone, dancing as well.

The Indivisible is ever indivisible.

Even in every entity, there is that Indivisible - certainly, the indivisible can never be divided.

Therefore, in all these movements of the body, it is Ma alone,

the One only-THAT alone.

About this time, one night Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was cooking food and Ma, sitting by her, was talking to her as if she was Her friend.

During the talk, Ma enquired: "Mother, Sona Mama* calls you Bidhumukhi, is it not so mother ?" With a snubbing, she remonstrated: "Hey, one must not utter the name of one's mother."

"Why?", Ma enquired again: "What happens by uttering (the word) Bidhumukhi ?"

It is no exaggeration even to say that Mokshada Sundari Devi never knew how to lose her temper or scold anyone, but did express herself in a few words (with emphasis) as the occasion demanded in a particular context. A slight hint or a gesture from her put the children on their guard. On Ma's insistence, she replied, (By taking the name of one's mother) "One commits a sin; the mother dies." On (hearing) this, Ma persisted (in asking Her mother) "Give me word that no sin has been committed and you will not die!"

Ma did this with inflexible earnestness, as if She was about to cry.

On no other occasion had Her mother ever noticed Ma making a demand so stubbornly, and on the point of crying like this. It was never the case with Ma to rush up and talk to anyone after clasping the back or the body of that person. Remaining seated, She pressed Her demand with persistence, holding the mat-door and continuing to shake it a little.

(Noticing) that particular bhava (of Ma), followed by a somewhat uncommon transformation, as it were, in Her features and (also realizing) what a strange way of speaking it was, as mother bad an apprehension born out of the uncertainty as to) who knows what might happen.

So, at last, taking the name of Bhagavan and turning her face away from where food was being cooked, she was forced to assure (Ma): "No, no, no, no, there has been no sin on your part; I shall not die, shall not die, shall not die."

The present name of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi is, do we know, Shri Muktananda Giri Maharaj. Her former name is not there anymore (after taking sannyasa) - sannyasa, death of death. That small girl, after creating an occasion through Her own Kheyala, also got out of Her (mother's) mouth these words denoting conquest of death, which surely means immortality. What was to come about was indicated then only during the conversation between mother and daughter-this is what we have found here. Later on, when Mokshada Sundari Devi was amongst us as Didima (grandmother), we had enquired of her one day: "Didima, A sin is committed by uttering the name of one's mother,' why did you say so?" Didima had replied: "In villages we had been hearing so from our childhood; that is why I had said this."

On another day, Didima told Ma: "Your luck is such that (though) these are the months of Vaisakh (April-May) and Jyoishtha (May-June) and there are a few mango trees as well in the house, yet not a single one among them is ripe, which you can eat."

About this very time, Ma went once, in the company of Her Thakurma into a jungle to pick pot - herb, and found quite a large sized mango lying there. No mango tree, too, was there, and it was, as if, someone had placed the mango on that spot. Such a variety of mango is never seen at all, and looking at it, Mokshada Sundari Devi was wonder struck. It was so lovely, so big, so deliciously sweet-smelling and of such an attractive appearance, as if the mango was of heavenly origin. Its colour and pattern were also novel. the skin too had its own speciality--wbere else could such a variety be (found)? Taking that amrita-phad (amrita-giving fruit) in hand, the face of Mokshada Sundari Devi became suffused with joy. From the stone of a good variety of mango grows a tree of good variety, but despite search, the stone (of this mango) was not found (afterwards).

Svarga, Result of Virtuous Karma with Desire, Transient-Realization of Bhagavan, the Aim In those days in villages, education among girls had not been introduced on any appreciable scale. It may bc said that among elderly women in villages, there was hardly anyone who could read or write. Among men, someone perhaps read the Ramayana or the Mahabharat on some occasion, but among the women, practically no one was seen even to hear with attention what was being read.

The talk about going to Svarga was often heard from the mouth of old women.

Ma's question about there being anything special in Svarga was to make it clear

Hearing this from the mouth of someone, one day, while lying beside Didima, Ma suddenly enquired,

"Mother, they talk about Svarga; can one go there only if one so desired?"

She replied,

"Yes, it is possible to go there. Svarga, earth and nether world are there; we are on earth. One can go to Svarga if there is a burning desire for it."

Ma asked,

"In which direction lies the way leading to it, do please tell me mother?"

She replied: "When a strong desire arises in a man for it, then only he can see the way."

Ma further enquired: "One can go there, if only there is a desire for it, is that so?"

Didima replied: "Yes, certainly!"

Ma asked again: "Is there anything special there?" Didima did not add anything (to what she had said already). Very often Ma used to have (talks on) such religious topics, and (hold) discussions on various subjects with Her mother and (hear) stories (from her). Whatever was worth receiving from Her mother, that, again, was there too.

One day the sound of kirtan and of playing on khol was held from a house at a far-off place. Lying here (at home), Ma was perhaps in that changed state, in keeping with the occasion Afterwards, She enquired of Her mother,

"There is this kirtan and playing on musical instrument, which we hear; what do we get by doing all this?" She replied: "Bhagavan is pleased; He can hear even when one takes His name mentally. Indeed, man cannot see everything, but surely, Bhagavan knows everything, sees everything and does everything at all places.

Definitely, He is present in everything, yet again, does nothing at all."

In the context of a certain topic we were told that in Her childhood, when Ma heard any sound produced by the beating of drums on the occasion of any puja or a festival, or during a marriage celebration, or even any other sound of a loud nature, She was indeed, (found to be) hearing it (alright) but to have got into a fixed inexplicable bhava!

While remaining calm under that abnormal state, there would flash for a moment, in the body of Ma, an extraordinarily strange manifestation externally visible to all. When an enquiry was made about it, Ma had replied,

in this context, know that there is that Supreme (eternal dhvani) abiding in each aspect of dhvani."

However, on an-other occasion, this aspect would be definitely there, i.e., a totally determined bhava (would be noticed). Even now, we are used to hearing (from Ma) that whatever happens at any time, let it. Sometimes, if Ma saw someone crying or laughing, She too would be seen doing the same along with that person. Then, again, this too, that whether the occasion was one of merriment or lamentation, or whether Ma was in the midst of too much confused noise of any nature, or manifestation of any other sentiment, She would remain like one totally indifferent, unconcerned, unaffected-the same as ever. This too would attract the attention of many and they would remark:

"Is the girl a simpleton ?"

Once, when Ma was about three or four years old, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi fell seriously ill at Her maternal uncle's house. (As usual), Ma had Her food, etc., loitered about also, but kept well away from Her (ailing) mother. Everyone remarked:

"What sort of a girl is She? She does not care to see Her mother, even with a glance by the way. Is She completely without any feeling of love and attachment?"

In the context of a topic concerning a different event, Ma said that once at Kheora at noon on the day of Adhivas of autumnal Durga Puja. She had sat down with Her mother to take food. Ma, had, then observed Shri Durgaji and other associate gods and goddesses going away in front of Her, in a manner just as any man walk away. They were also looking at Ma and complaining that in a certain house, contact with impurity occasioned by the birth of a child in the family had polluted the puja and the preparations for it, and so they had come out of that place.

Ma had been intently observing this when Mokshada Sundari Devi, giving a gentle stroke on Ma's cheek, had remonstrated: "Hey! while sitting to take food, what are you staring at?" In fact, Ma was like this from Her very childhood; sometimes, indeed, absent minded, In whichever direction She looked, Her gaze was occasionally found to be fixed.

Question : What is all this Ma?

Ma: "When a periodical rite is observed, there must be maintenance of sanctity and a strict adherence to the relevant religious practice as appropriate to that particular case."

We feel that here is a warning to all that one should ever be on one's guard to maintain sanctity while performing such rites. Did we not get a lesson on this aspect too from this particular case?

At Kheora, Ma's Thakurma had a lady friend. Ma had given her the name Chikkan Didi and used to address her by that name only. She was a child widow and without any issue. She had great affection for Ma and very often would take Ma to her house.

Sometimes, she would get Ma to cook and then comment: "Sister, whatever you cook, it tastes just like ambrosia." From the worldly point of view, it may even be said that Ma had Her first lesson in cooking from her.

In a house in their neighbourhood, Durga Puja was celebrated every year as well as a succession of other religious ceremonies during the twelve months. The name of the daughter of the head of that house was also Nirmala (Ma's name).

Every year for three days during the time of Durga Puja and on the occasion of other special pujas too, like Dol, etc., they would take Ma to their house to stay with them At that time, the duration of Ma's stay there and taking food i that house was almost fixed, as it were. There, at the time of puja, Nirmala Devi and Ma both used to sit together and sing a lot of various Malsi songs (songs related to Shakti, the Divine Mother) and the like.

At that time, Ma was in the Divine Motherly bhava alone (as if the Divine Mother Herself). In fact, there appeared in Her tile appropriate bhava and also the rupa (form) which were identical with what was depicted in each song related to a particular puja.

One day at noon, someone came to hand over to Ma, a plate of Naivedya (offering of rice, fruits, etc., for a deity). From Ma, who was, indeed, already in Her abnormal bhava, she enquired: "What has happened to you? Why are you looking so (unusual)?" And while looking closely at Ma she too became inert, as it were, in a strange, inexplicable bhava and totally lost in it. This happened to her certainly as a result of looking at Ma. There occurred within her, it appears, some sort of a little opening of a divine bhava on a permanent basis. No doubt, she already had love and affectionate regard for Ma, but from then on, there was (in her) a special feeling of reverence and devotion (for Ma) all the time. At that time Ma remained silent) poised in Her own bhava.

When Shiva Puja was performed on Shivaratri night, Ma remained in identity with all those bhava too. In fact, it was the same with Her in respect of any particular bhava that presented itself (before Her) at any time. On the occasion of Ras Purnima (the full moon night during September-October, when Lord Krishna did Ras-lila with Gopies) and on Laxmi Purnima, when, of course, remaining awake the whole night, She was in those bhavas only. After a whole night vigil on Laxmi Purnima, one is not allowed to sleep on the following day till the stars are not visible again. Though only of a child's age, Ma did, through Her Kheyala, everything to the letter in obedience to what Her mother asked Her to do.

In the context of topics of such a nature, we have heard that on those occasions, sometimes, as reported, some inexplicable external manifestation in the body of Ma would invariably take place in a strange manner; a bhava of identification with pervasiveness in mode and dealing was, of course, positively ever there.

Ma would be observing the performance of a puja, etc., when all at once, like a stroke of lightning, there would occur by itself, indeed, a strange change in Her bhava, sustaining that identification with pervasiveness and within the sight of people in the external world too. Whatever puja it was at any place, the vigraha, flowers, bhoga, materials for puja, the person doing the puja and also the mantras, etc., (were all) THAT alone. Reading related to Bhagavan, also reading of the Chandi, all those materials required at different stages of that particular puja, in kirta too held in the oute apartment and the like, whatever was being performed separately, surely, in such different forms too THAT alone.

At certain times, there used to occur, in the body of Ma, some change that was strange and not normal and that too, indeed, within the view of people in the outer world. The normal dealings in the external world would, as if, for the moment, get lost or become concealed, or how to put it correctly as to what sort of manifestation it was. It is not possible to explain it in words. At that time, for a moment, Ma appeared in a different form and so was this caught sometimes in the eyes of people.

On a query about the nature of this external manifestation, Ma said: "Oh Baba, you, of course, see this body as it is while moving about in its usual way, (but) what is eternal, is there. Occasionally, what appears to be of a strange sort, certainly from your point of view only, (it is) abnormal, or, again, normal, (but here) whatever occurs at any time

THAT only.

Winking and not winking, the same--indeed, all these are just the same One.

All in One and One in all

certainly THAT only, even what is a corpse too!

All (including) dead matter whatever, what is considered

to be existing or not existing-THAT alone, indeed!

Right expression (to convey what is meant) is not coming out, Baba!

Where, again, is separateness (there)? Regarding this body, it is all elomelo, what else!"

Indeed, Ma always says: "From your point of view, eating, sleeping, moving, talking, smiling, etc., are separate actions related to worldly forms and ideas as they are. So, it is but natural that this kind of question should arise."

This was also there that Ma could recite all those mantras, do the reading (from scriptures), etc., fluently. At that time, occasionally, Ma would abruptly get up without anyone's knowledge. If this came to the notice of someone and appeared strange to him, he made some remarks too sometimes. Immediately, after manifestation for a moment like lightning, all these bhavas would, by itself, withdraw within Her and She would come back, from our point of view, to normal condition in behaviour.

Afterwards, towards those who had the chance to see a little of this aspect of Ma suddenly come to light, a sort of hesitant serious mood would be noticed in Ma.

Then, again, they would call Ma and engaging Her in play, would make Her smile. Whenever they met Ma again, it was evident that perhaps they had not been able to forget the particular bhava they had occasionally noticed in Ma at any time. It occurs in our mind that this divine bhava remained with them like a companion in their spiritual life aimed at the Supreme Objective, and did this not help a little in leading them towards unfoldment (of their Svarupa)? For such fortunate ones who were there in the midst of all this and had a chance to witness it (Ma's bhava), we should certainly consider this (coincidence) too to be of special Kalyana (for them).

In that region, at that time, nothing was heard or seen, even by sign and indication, which could throw light on (such subjects as) a yogi, kriya of yoga and the like, interpret the doctrine (of Bhagavan) with form and attributes as Shri Rama and Shri Krishna and expound doctrines of dualism, monism, etc. The practice of reading religious books like the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Gita, Bhagavat, etc., came to one's notice only sometimes, somewhere. As for Ma, of course, whatever happened there in Her presence at any time, (She was ever in identity with that alone).

In the presence of puja, Ma is in the form in identity with that bhava. In the context of the aspect of inner Svarupa pertaining to Tattwa of those bhavas, in Ma's words: in connection with those pujas, etc., a pervasive bhava unfolded. That is, with a comprehensive view, whatever it was concerning puja-pujak (performer of puja), puja vigraha (deity of puja), puja (performance of puja), mantra pertaining to puja, flower, bhog, articles, etc., for puja - all indeed-Ma.

Again, separately, such as Chandipath (reading of Chandi), anything any where concerning puja, kirtan, etc., whatever it was as part of puja, each one separately-Ma alone.

In the context of an extraordinary change of bhava in Ma's body, like the above stated bhava, Ma is saying : "Ordinary, extraordinary is as you view them."

In the Reality of Ma, She is what She is, eternal. What She is in Her easy movements, and again, anything that happens at any time, She is in those respective forms to Ma alone, such as the person who he is while winking, is the same person when he is not winking. There is distinction only in kriyas of the same person.

As a person, he is ever the same.

In the Reality of Ma, there is no question of change or no change -THAT alone. That is why Ma is saying : "Whatever exists or not at any place, all indeed -THAT alone definitely, where, again, is a separate entity?"

Therefore, what is ordinary, the same extraordinary-Ma alone.

The basis of Oneness, in the background of dualistic vision of jiva, is not comprehended. That is why questions of this nature keep cropping up. Any-thing anywhere in the context of Ma's play, it is Ma alone-this is what we are being led to comprehend.

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's instruction to the children was, that ordinarily, on going to anyone's house, they should neither take anything that may be given to them to eat nor accept anything else offered to hem. Of course, when invited, there was no objection in accepting anything offered. In the circle of special friends, one's behaviour should be as due to a family member. As for Ma, all these biddings too were carried out to the letter; (but), as to how She would act when there was any special Kheyala, was, of course, known to Her only.

One day Ma had gone out for a stroll in the Eastern locality. There, from one of the houses, a mother and her daughter brought some mangoes of very good quality and solicited Ma pressingly to accept them. By no means whatsoever would Ma 'agree to accept them, and as She ran away, the girl too followed Ma to Her house and tried to offer those mangoes to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. Meanwhile, Ma too had run up and plucked a few mangoes from a tree within Her house. Returning just then, (and offering the mangoes to the girl), She said, from the stalk onwards and up to a certain length, it (the mango) is green and yellow, side by side along with thick stripe, and the remaining part is of green colour, but ripe.

"Look, She added, you all do not have such a variety of mango, so please take them."

The girl took the mangoes with joy and turning them around (in her hand) began observing their unusual colour, which, it was reported, was so wonderful that it could not be' described. Mangoes of such quality were not there in anyone's house, and it was, as if, in each mango, the two colours represented Sita-Ram, Radhey-Shyam - the divine couples. This mango tree was in one corner of the house. Turning the mangoes in Her hand, Ma used to observe their colour with great joy. So sweet to taste and so fragrant, a mango of such quality was not seen elsewhere

It is doubtful if Ma had even two good clothes to put on.

At that time, there was no question of use of frocks and trousers.

There was no washer-man at all; besides, where was the money to meet washing expenses? Occasionally, with soda ash, and that too derived from the bark of a plantain tree or some other source, clothes were washed to some extent in the homes of poor people. In this way too, there was no possibility of washing clothes very often because of the fear of their getting torn through repeated washing. Even when going out, Ma would put on those old and tattered garments, wrapping Herself neatly and swaying to and fro with joy.

In former days, the practice in every village in that region was that till the children could put on their clothes themselves, (they remained without them)-the use of frocks and trousers was not at all current. During winter, someone would fold a piece of cloth, wrap it over the child's body and tie the two ends around the neck.

When the child could move about well, it was, perhaps, given a cloth then. Sometimes the child put it on by itself, wrapped it around the body and then kept it aside. So long as the child was of the age when it was not obligatory to keep clothe on all the time, this was the practice even while moving about and in play.

In those days in villages, this was usual with all children; juniors and elders, men and women-indeed none had any sankoch (sense of immodesty) about it. At that time, it was not customary even with grown-up girls to put on stitched clothes such as a blouse, etc., (the sari serving as an all-purpose garment). Wearing of warm clothes and wrappers during the season for it - this was also not usual in those regions. In villages, the cold too was not severe. Heat and cold were bearable. Men alone were seen putting on garments like shirt and coat, and these too only while coming to and going out of villages. Regarding electricity, there was no question at all of having it there.

When Ma was a little grown up, on observing Her style of wearing clothes, someone would remark: "What a beautiful style of putting it on; except hands and feet, no other part of the body is exposed!" Perhaps noticing someone (whose body would be much exposed in comparison) be would say (to that girl): "Learn it(that style)!"

During Ma's movements, its pattern in Her own joyous style was such that it always naturally attracted affection from all. Even through the dirty colour of the soiled and worn out cloth, the beauty and charm of the bright, fair complexion of Ma would be enhanced.

One day someone gave a pair of anklets to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi for Ma to put on and the former got Ma to wear those anklets. Putting them on, Ma walked about nicely here and there. One day, addressing Her mother, Ma entreated: "Mother, if you permit, I may just take off these anklets." Thereupon the mother said: "No; why should you remove them, they look so nice? Let them be as they are on your ankles."

The reason behind Ma's request then came out. Pulling out the torn corner of Her wearing apparel and showing it (to Her mother), She said, as if timidly: "Just see, the anklet has torn this cloth." About this, what could Her mother say! (She only said): "Alright, move carefully." For fear that the cloth might get torn further, Ma would, while moving about, keep it raised (above the anklet). Afterwards, Her mother got Her properly dressed.

Village Kheora was not a very big one. Among the inhabitants, there were, besides a few brahmin and a few kayastha families, Muslims and other communities in greater number. In the Western locality, there were only two brahmin families, one of whom was that of Bipin Bihari Mahasaya. At some distance, almost on three sides, there was the habitation of Muslims. During rains, water accumulated around two or three sides of the house, and just in front, there were Muslim houses. In the Eastern locality, there were dwellings of nine or ten Brahmin families and fourteen or fifteen kayastha families. Besides, there lived people of other castes too. While going from the Western to the Eastern locality, one had to pass through a bit of field and jungle on both sides. There was another road too, a short-cut, through the premises of Muslim homes. Both these roads were used by Ma for coming and going on Her way to the Eastern locality.

During Her stroll, Ma used to go to the houses of Muslims, some of which were located in the north and others on the eastern and southern sides. Due to strict orthodoxy of those days, Thakurma and others had bidden Ma to go there before taking bath and to bathe after coming back. As for Ma, just as to a Hindu home so also would She occasionally go to their homes too during Her stroll with due care in Her movements. On returning home, She would sprinkle Her body with water, to which Tulsi leaves had been added. As if the whole village itself was Her one home, Ma would, now and then, move about on foot, going to any place any time. But She would not go alone on all occasions. Either Thakurma would be with Her or She would be in the company of someone else, who would call and take Her too. Also, on account of the village being the maternal home of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, many indeed, among the Muslims too, would address him as nephew. For this reason, there was a good number among them who, in relation to Ma, had the status of Her grandfather and grandmother. With them too, through esteem (for seniors) and talks in which there was undue liberty (permissible to a dear child), distinction of caste did not stand for Ma; the same equality was maintained in humour and merriment.

Why, in search of what, with what interest, and wearing sometimes, soiled, worm out clothes and at othcr times, beautiful apparel, and crossing through jungles and fields, there was this girl at the doors of all? Here, indeed, there was no distinction at all between old men and women, young boys and girls, boys and girls of the same age-group and people of different communities.

Sometimes, perhaps, with Thakurma, or possibly, taking a child as company at another time, or again, on a rare occasion, with the permission of parents, She would move out alone, dancing and singing as if in self-forgetfulness why, and for what purpose?

Any attraction for a particular friend of the same age-group, which the people could se---that too was absent in this girl, indifferent to worldly interests. Any festival, amusement or the like, with its outward temptation, fascinating a child-mind, was not always there in the village. Then, hostility with anyone was certainly out of question. Just as the world and the universe were Her friends, so also simultaneously there was, as if, none at all of Her own anywhere the One in great abstract mood, grave, calm, serene. Again, in Her own bhava, She would, sometimes, wander about, laughing, playing, dancing and singing in a low humming voice. (And then), saying a few words to the villagers while addressing them with a little smile, just this much! Was it only to give and receive this little bit of alms of love that this girl moved about uninvited from door to door in different localities, maddening the entire village?

With what an extraordinarily profound and steady rhythm, eyes upturned sometimes, the style of movement in walking reflected a divine bhava and attracted public attention. What lay hidden in it, what mystery, is known only to Him whose action it was! The bhava of movement in Her own innate style was by itself. This too that, within the realm of jiva-jagat, whatever may have occurred in the minds of some people, that which was seen (in Ma) was not any kriya actuated by desire. Perhaps the attraction aspect was due to this. Indeed, Ma asks us now and then to love Bhagavan. Undoubtedly, the realization of Bhagavan is realization of the Self. (And) surely, to realize the Self is to realize Bhagavan.

That is, one has to know:

-"Who is the Self? - to realize this."

After marriage Ma was once taken to Kheora from the house of Revati Babu (the eldest brother of Bholanathji) at Sripur. Wearing dul (a kind of earring) in the ear, ananta (a kind of armlet), bangles, bracelets on wrists and taking younger sister Surabala and other brothers and sisters along with Her, Ma went strolling to the houses of those Muslims. After going around a good number of those houses, Ma came to one of them where the family comprised boys and girls, daughters-in-law and many among them of the age of Ma's father. (Then), one of them asked Ma to let him have a look at Her ananta, bangles and bracelets. Ma took them off immediately and placed them in his hands. While examining them, some members quietly went inside, placed these ornaments in a room, then returned and sat by Ma.

Ma too, after sitting for a while and remaining engaged in talk and humour, said,

"Now I shall leave."

The man who had taken the ornaments said: "Alright," without caring to return the ornaments. Ma kept smiling a little and saying: "I shall go now itself." They too said: "Very well, you may go." But, about giving back the ornaments, neither did they make any mention nor did Ma speak about them. Talk on different subjects continued in a spirit of much jollity. Ma, of course, used to sit in their courtyard and so She sat there on that day too as usual. (Then), getting up, She said: "It is quite late now". Saying his, as Ma moved a few steps, they brought back those ornaments: ananta, bangles and bracelets, and giving them back in Ma's hand, said,

"Suppose we bad not returned them?"

Ma just smiled a little. Indeed, it never occurred to Her that all those ornaments had been given by Bholanath's (bridegroom's) family and these people were talking in that vein; what would have happened then (if they had not returned them)? No, there was not the least concern of this kind. What a simple hearted beautiful spirit of trust! They went on discussing among themselves with comments on some such lines.

Even at present w see that there is no respite in the movements of Ma. Again, when it is Her Kheyala, then, of course, there is the climax of non-mobility. While going for a walk, taking Bhaiji and two or three others in Her company, Ma used to pass in front of the kutias near Baudhara on the bank of Ganga at Rishikesh. Then, on some rare occasions, She would even enter the kutia of some mahatma and sit inside in satsanga.

As a result of this within a short time, some among the mahatmas began to look upon Ma with great respect. Someone would invite Ma to visit his kutia and Ma too would call on him. Sonic would carry on a discussion too with Ma on spiritual subjects.

Purnananda Swamiji also began making enquiries about Ma. He first sent his sannyi disciple and afterwards took Ma to his kutia and fed Her one day. On another day, he took Ma and seating Her with esteem had talks on spiritual subjects for quite sometime. After enquiring about Her kriya, etc., he came to Bhaiji and expressed his great pleasure (for the blissful experience). He requested Ma to visit his kutia occasionally. One day he even came himself to Ma's kutia. He would ask his sannyasi disciple to make shrikhand and malpoa, two items of milk preparation, and then would go and give these to Ma. One day, it was proposed that these items be prepared at Ma's place only and be given to Her. Indeed, he did so. Very often Purnanandaji would send him (his disciple) to Ma. He really looked upon Ma with great affectionate regards.

One day Swami Purnanandaji sent one of his disciples to Ma with the instruction to ask Her as to what She saw in Her dreams. Early in the morning, the disciple came to Ma and put that question to Her. In reply, Ma said,

Do tell Baba that when one is in sleep, there is dreaming. Flow can there be the question of dreams where the question of even sleep has no place. In fact, the world is a waking dream whereas in sleep, there is sleeping dream."

On receiving this reply through his disciple he expressed great pleasure. A question in a limited form had been put to Ma and so indeed, had been Her reply.

Ma, of course, says : "There are many side issues in all such things."

One day Ma told that disciple: "Look, I just saw Purnananda Baba seated on his bed in his own bhava with a calm, cool and grave disposition, and a lady, in a red-bordered sari, standing outside the door and leaning in, while holding the door-leaf and looking at Baba."

Hearing this the disciple said: "Yes Ma, due to renouncing the worldly life by Maharajji, his wife of former order of life courted unnatural death on her own; very likely, it was she only." Of course, Ma had not heard from anybody anything about the former order of Maharajji's life.

We feel that only a jeweller can recognise a precious stone.

And if the jeweller is a right one, he alone can estimate the worth of a jewel. These who really know, for them where is the distinction between man and woman? This, indeed, is what one realises while having continued association of Ma.

Addressing Ma with respect by mahatmas is pleasing to us.

And, where the offering of respect is in its true form, there it is all that one can desire. Where is that great experience in us to understand it (the significance of that respect)? And, is it possible to comprehend all this in this way through mere book learning? It is only by associating with mahatmas that we have experienced the little which we have. Where that realization really is, how can there remain any question of (distinction between) man and woman, and different communities.

In reply to a question, Ma has said that whatever little development of Shakti takes place in anyone, it is in accordance with that much only and in the light of that Shakti that one sees, understands and speaks in regard to a particular subject.

Waking,

dreaming,

deep sleep-these are the three states of jiva, when he is in bondage.

Turiya - it is an awakening devoid of dreaming and deep sleep. This, in fact, is the eternal awakening, where the question of awakening and absence of awakening has no place.

Among these three states, there exists a relationship of exclusiveness. That is, during the waking state, the other two states of dreaming and deep sleep are absent; in the dreaming state, waking and deep sleep are not there, and in deep sleep state, there is absence of the other two states.

But the Turiya state is not like this. It is pure, without any mal (i.e., without attributes), absolute.

Here the sadhaka Himself in Himself is in repose in the Self.

This is the state of Svarupa of jiva according to a particular outlook. This is-by following the path directed by the Guru-what Ma says, attainment, according to his course of sadhana, of that which was not attained before.

In reply to the question by Swami Purnananda, pointing this state of Svarupa, it has been stated-no question of dreaming and deep sleep.

But Ma is all states, absence of states; where there is no question of state, absence of state-say what you may, it is that.

Therefore,

being all too,

it is nothing,

being nothing as well,

it is all being - THAT alone.

Reverting to the subject ill the context of Ma's childhood, many a deed of Ma sometimes did appear to be unusual compared to Her age. At Vidyakut, one day Ma's aunt (wife of the elder brother of Ma' father) asked Ma to plaster (with cow dung) the oven and floor of one room. Ma was, then, of very small age. Removing Her clothes, She plastered the floor of the room. Afterwards, Her aunt called everybody and told them : "Look, how big are the hand-prints in the plastering. It is as if some elderly person has done it. How could it happen with such a small hand!" They were surprised and went on discussing it among themselves.

At Kheora, a relation of Ma, of the status of a grandmother, received spiritual initiation and after that the Guru went back to his home. Although the age of that lady was approximately about thirty years at that time, yet she treated Ma as a friend. She was illiterate and could not retain anything in her mind.

On account of this, she started learning sandhya-kriya (religious services observed thrice daily: early in the morning, at noon and in the evening) and other mantras from Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi.

One day that grandmother told Ma: "Look, I have forgotten again the kriyas of hand (anganyas). It is not right that I should trouble your mother so very often. Now, you tell me what I should do. Ma smilingly showed her something in quite an easy manner and said: "Why not do like this?" Of course a question may arise as to why did the elderly grandmother approach such a little girl (Ma's age was then about nine or ten years) for this instruction?

It is possible that in dealing with Ma, many, sometimes, could not keep in mind the difference in age; they forgot it.

About Ma, of course, the elomelo is, surely, there. But they could not realize this also at that time, and this happened in the same way on both sides, as if, in a strange manner. When this grandmother told Mokshada Sundari Devi all this afterwards, she remarked: "From where has She learnt all this. She had explained very correctly indeed!" She called Ma and enquired about it. Ma said,

Mokshada Sundari Devi kept on looking at Ma for a while, and then, as if with something like snubbing a little said: "How could this possibly take place in you by itself?

One must not joke with mantras and the like; it may turn one mad.

As if this is a matter to truffle with!

This is not good for little ones."

On another day, the same grandmother who had enquired of Ma about anganyas, etc., brought a pair of bangles made of shell (which she wanted to wear). However, no one was able to help her to do so. The pair of bangles was very much to her liking, and on failing to put it on her hand, she was sitting sorrowfully. Noticing this, Ma told her with a smile: "Come grandmother, I shall help you to wear it." She replied: "None, indeed, has been able to do so, you alone have remained to do it. Very well, try", and pointing out a particular spot in her hand, she said: "This is where it gets stuck." Ma took the pair of bangles and slipped them on the hands of the grandmother quite easily, whereupon she exclaimed: "How could you manage to slip it Oil such big hands as mine with such small hands of yours and also do all that without the least awareness on my part!" All those present there kept on looking at Ma and speaking, one did not know what, to one another, among themselves.

TI4urnph of Truth in the Pattern of Taking Place by Itself All loved Ma right from Her very childhood. When Ma visited Her maternal uncle's home, eight or ten girls of the same age-group from the neighbourhood would play taking Ma in their company. They were aware of the fact that if anyone enquired of Ma about any matter, Ma would openly disclose everything. For this reason, if there was anything secret between them concerning the game, they would not divuig it to Ma and remain careful while talking too about anything to Her. On many an occasion they would make Ma 'Raja', 'Budi'* in the play and seat Her on one side. Sometimes they formed a group and collectively tried to defeat Ma (in some other game). But in the course of events they themselves were beaten and found that they had made fools of themselves. On the other hand, leaving them always to their deliberations, Ma remained aloof in Herself without being in the least interested in winning or losing.

At Kheora, once a boy died in a certain house.

That house was in the Eastern region and located at the farthest end of the village. The residents of the house were a class of people called Acharya Biahmins, who used to make in clay the images, etc., of deities worshipped in the village. With a Kheyala known only to Ma, She went alone at that moment during the morning hours and appeared at a house adjoining theirs. There was loud and bitter weeping in the other house, and standing in this (the neighbour's) house, Ma was observing intently the condition of that boy after death. Next day, Ma went to that house (of the deceased). Of her own accord, the bereaved mother kept on speaking out from her heart about this bereavement to Ma, although Ma was of such a small age. Standing there, in what mood was Ma hearing, while looking at their faces, She only knew. But it was noticed that the intensity of their grief became as if somewhat alleviated. They repeatedly entreated Ma to come again.

Due to this incident only, intimacy of Ma with this family grew a little.

While moving in a body with Her companions, specially at Sultanpur, Ma sometimes conversed with trees in the manner of talking to a human being - moving the mouth and shaking the head with a smiling face.

Noticing this strange action of Ma, they were struck with amazement and sometimes possibly became frightened too. The reason for fright was that they noticed that when Ma conversed with trees, the trees too, then, appeared to shake a little. Besides this, the companions could not understand anything more.

It is heard that Mahapurusha (saints) possibly live in the form of trees, but none knows what it was in the present case. Again, occasionally, to make fun, they would entreat Ma :

"Would you please show your queer manners once more just now ?"

Exactly as they feared Ma, so also they had a special liking too for Ma, all loved Her as well. Without Ma's company in any activity, they felt cheerless and could hardly do without Her.

The father-in-law of that grandmother in whose hand Ma had slipped on the shell bangles, was the uncle of Ma's Thakurma. Their house and that of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father) only these two houses-were in one place in the Western sector. Just near their houses, there was an old mango trees.

On one side of the tree, its branches were dry without any leaves, etc. Some other sides were green to some extent and bore some mangoes too in the mango season. They had a big mango garden there which gave them plenty of mangoes to their entire satisfaction.

If any mango dropped and remained there till even putrefied at the foot of this lone old tree, nobody cared to take any particular notice of it. But occasionally that tree would perhaps attract Ma to its foot, and if during the mango season, Ma found mangoes lying at its foot, She would bring and give them to Mokshada Sundari Devi. If old Thakurma found mangoes there, she too picked them up and preserved them in the house. When they were ripe, then, at the right time, she fed Ma too with them. We have heard from Ma's mouth that the mangoes of that tree had such a nice fragrance and were so sweet to taste that such variety was hardly even seen at all. But the owners of the house had not even the least appreciation of this.

In the context of the subject mentioned above, Ma incidentally said,

(Now) who was that great one, who, escaping the sight of all, had remained all alone on one side in the form of this dry tree? Did he fulfil his final birth with his successful seva of Ma by offering Her fragrant and sweet fruits?

At that age of Ma, Her behaviour was, indeed, somewhat unusual. A mere child, She would, say, be going along on a road to someone's house or to any other place and coming back all alone. Sometimes, then, while moving about alone, it would generally be an easy, free movement. Occasionally, the eyes would be upturned too, and continuing with up-surging movements, She would go on jumping, laughing, running and sometimes, again, perhaps taking something in hand, She would be throwing it up and catching it back. Also, with a rhythm too of a dancing pose, She would sometimes sing with a low humming voice or loudly. Perhaps, again, during Her movement too, She would stand motionless or walk slowly and keep on talking with much laughter to the earth, trees, etc. Also, sometimes picking p such thing as branches, leaves and flowers of trees, She would wrap Her body with them, and with what affection, love and caress, She would indulge in for them, as if She never went about without a companion at all. If there was nothing else, then breeze, wind, sky and void were surely there as Her companions.

With vibration sustained by movements of hands and feet, She kept on moving about with great joy, while jumping, laughing and playing in the company of breeze only. Or sometimes, remaining in one particular area, She would loiter about this way and that for quite a while. Sometimes with both hands raised upwards or halfway up, and at other times, keeping them hanging downwards, one on each side, She would spin like a top. Or She would move on, sometimes waving to and fro, right and left, in four directions and sometimes keeping the eyes upturned and both hands hanging loosely. When during Her movements She came within the sight of people, She would attract their attention. All this was, of course, heard from Giriji's mouth too. Absorbed in what sort of play with Herself by Herself, is known to Her only. Are the activities of small boys and girls like this; is a like of it ever observed in the case of anyone? Some people would say,

And when, again, She would be calm, She would turn into a statue so grave, as if, there was not the least trace of restlessness any time, certainly, none at all. Her gravity would remain absolutely unimpaired. Someone would (then) address Ma as an earthen pot. When this state was there then it definitely did not continue only for a short duration.

Perhaps She had no dearth of friends at any time. Again, She was lonely without any companion; steady, self-composed and disinterested, with Her gaze also fixed towards the sky, as if She had no bondage of any bondage at all. Others also definitely noticed this. Looking at Ma with Her face turned upwards, Mokshada Sundari Devi often called Her 'camel-faced'. On hearing this (term), Ma looked at the picture of a camel in a children's book.

Sometimes Ma would walk haltingly as if She were specially talking endearingly to friends, and would likewise be engrossed in lively conversation accompanied with laughter. But whom did She talk to? Who was Her companion? Someone invisible too? If somebody arrived suddenly when She was in those bhavas, then perhaps, because of the bhava of the new arrival, She would quickly be transformed into a gentle, quiet, obedient and docile girl.

Sometimes Ma treated birds and beasts too with the same bhava.

They used to look at Her face in such a way, nodding their heads this way and that, as if they understood what Ma was saying and Ma too would reciprocate as though they were known to one another from eternity. Even with insects like ants in rows, She was, as if, one with them. She would start talking and dealing with them with laughter and sometimes conversing with them loudly. She would jump, beckon and look for them, as if Ma was their great friend.

This would go on for quite sometime. After having done all this, She would never look back in any direction when She left.

With Her, making and unmaking were, as if simultaneous affairs

One day at Kheora, a little before dusk, Ma was going to the tank to fetch water. Suddenly, with what Kheyala, one does not know, She ran towards the jungle, peeped through a narrow way and returned immediately.

Never before or after this incident had She stooped a little and looked into the jungle like this. When She came back home with water, She told Mokshada Sundari Devi,

Ma had entered that narrow lane, a short distance from the south. Hearing the frightening story, Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "What animal did you see with black and white patches? Never go alone that side. No one has heard that an animal with such colours has ever been seen in the jungle of this village." Who knows who it was in an animal's garb to whom Ma had granted darshan!

In the meantime, during the Indian month of Magh (Jan.-Feb.), the old grandmother used to take Ma daily for a bath in the tank in the early dawn when it was still dark. It was a religious observance to bathe just before sunrise. A vow of Maghmandal had been taken, and as such, Ma had to bathe, well before sunrise in early dawn and observe other disciplines. (To go to the tank), they had to pass by that jungle. About fear, where was the room for it?

Friend and Companion with Love and Joy

Sometimes it so happened at Sultanpur, when Ma was there at the house of Her uncle that She would be walking on a road between two stretches of water, and a herd of cattle would also, perhaps then, be coming from the opposite direction. Ma would be accompanied by Her playmates with Sushila Masima* as one of them.

These companions used to clap and tell Ma: "Look out, there it is, the entire herd of cattle with raised heads is moving towards you only, and in an instant will definitely fall upon you! In order to frighten Her, they used to tease Her like this. It was seen that the herd did actually make its headway towards Ma. Ma would not know where to go, whether to enter water or to keep to the road and let the herd pass by.

Finally, She would move on the road along with the cattle in love and happiness, as if She was their friend and companion.

Her companions would clap and laugh at Ma's predicament and themselves would escape, running away. Then the farm boys would rush, and with a lot of difficulty take the cattle away from Ma.

Ma's pattern of movement was such that She was definitely one of them. Lots of such anecdotes were heard from Mokshada Sundari Devi. She would wonder at times :

She often asked Ma "Who was it you talked to, laughed with?"

Ma would then turn grave and look vacantly at her face.

(One day) dogs were seen fighting on the road. Perhaps a passer-by was there and felt much distressed. Rushing suddenly from somewhere towards the dogs and looking at them with a peculiar smiling pose, Ma made the gesture of picking up something from the ground. Then, making the dogs the target, She directed Her close-fisted hand towards it and opened it. Was it dust only in Her hand or just air?

This was known to Ma alone, whose play it was!

But it made the dogs forget their quarrel, and they stood aside looking at the face of Ma.

There was a very tall mango tree within the boundary of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's house. The weight of every mango of this tree was more or less one seer (about 1 kg.). Even the name of the tree was 'Seer-Khaiya' (eater of one seer). Once, while coming from the Eastern part of the village, Ma had noticed a mango lying under this tree. The moment Ma saw it, She had the Kheyala that Mokshada Sundari Devi would be very pleased to have it.

Ma, then, began jumping about as She proceeded (towards the tree) to get it. She was, at that time, all alone, so She moved about jumping.. There, on the way, at the foot of the tree, was a huge poisonous snake. The space under the tree was quite broad, but the snake was lying there from one end to another blocking the way. There was no space to pass on either side.

A reddish tinge emitted from the face and eyes of the snake. The eyes were shining bright and the snake probably raised its head from the ground to notice Ma. Ma did not stop, but jumped over the snake, picked up the mango, jumped back and went home and gave the mango in the hands of Mokshada Sundari Devi.

She was certainly pleased to get the mango but was rather worried to hear of the snake, pondering as to who knows what this simple girl may do any time!

Again, on another day, at the house of Ma at Kheora, there was another snake, which, after entwining itself in the branches of a mango sapling, was staring with the same brightness in its face and eyes. Ma went a little close and stood watching it for sometime. There was mutual exchange of glances between them, as if snakes were also like Ma's friends. After that She came and reported the incident happily to Her mother. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was naturally rather worried about Ma.

This particular snake was believed to be living there time and again. Nobody knows what relationship was there between Ma and that snake.

In Her childhood, occasionally (as we know), Ma travelled from Kheora to Vidyakut. Once at Vidyakut, Ma, then a small child of about four or five years, was moving about. Jumping with up-surging strides along the side of a tank while singing aloud at the top of Her voice the (love) songs of the gopi* of Vrindaban.

The songs were composed of the following verses:

1. The lover, revealing in time,

2. A Bahut-catching crocodile (Krishna)

One day at Sultanpur, Sushila Masima put a copper ring on Ma's finger.

On seeing it, Shriyukt Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "it will be a great sin if you tell a lie after wearing this ring."

Ma replied: "There is never any falsehood here."

She (Mokshada Sundari Devi) said: "It would be a sin even to tell a lie unmindfully.'

Ma replied: "Alright, there can never be any mistake."

Even then Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "There is no need to keep this ring at all." Therefore, Ma took it off Her finger and threw it in a nearby pond.

Even this was a great pleasure for Her.

Everybody knew that Ma never uttered a lie. Therefore, if anyone wanted to find out the veracity of any statement and if Ma had been present on that occasion, She would be interrogated and Her version accepted as absolute truth.

The very basis of sadhana is truth.

As for Ma, truth is, of course, there in Her innate bhava.

The step-turn of Ma's nose had been pierced and She had been made to wear a nose ring some time back. A hole was also now bored in the nose to wear a rose-pin. The ear-lobes were pierced for wearing ear tops, etc.

At one time, on the occasion of Durga Puja, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, taking Ma with him, set out one afternoon from Kheora for his sister's home in Vikrampur. The journey was performed initially on foot and later by boat. Ma was about seven to eight years old at that time.

While moving by boat, they arrived at a spot when it was dusk, and Bhattacharya Mahasaya arranged for Ma to sleep at an acquaintance's place. Later on, he got puri* and mohanbhog to feed Ma.

This was perhaps the first time that Ma had tasted Mohanbhog.